Mrs. Glenda (Oldham) Hargraves

Glenda Hargraves - Her Story 

Born October 31, 1933, Glenda Oldham Hargraves was the fifth of seven children born to Otto Oldham, Sr. and Lena Belle Oldham (nee Gay). Her siblings included Juanita Bibb (Preston), Vera Mae Daugherty (Ted), Octavene “Venie” Turner (Clifton), Otto Jr. “Sonny” (Christine), Charles William “C.W.” (Juanita), and Wendell Marion. As the daughter of a tobacco sharecropper, Glenda grew up in a rural setting with a family that survived on subsistence farming, growing or raising much of what they ate on the property their family owned. 

Glenda finished her primary and secondary education at Montgomery County Training School and Dubois High School, respectively, in Mt. Sterling, Kentucky. Shortly after graduating high school in 1951, Glenda traveled north to Dayton, Ohio to live with her Aunt Lola. From there, she went to Buffalo, New York with her sister Venie and cousin Billy Butler to stay with their Aunt Maple and Uncle James Joyce.

After a period of time working in Buffalo, Glenda set out to pursue her dream of becoming a nurse and to fulfill her calling to help people. To this end, she graduated from the Arnot Ogden School of Nursing in Elmira, New York in1957, after which she worked at Roswell Park Memorial Institution in Buffalo. During Glenda’s time at Roswell Park, she fell ill with tuberculosis and was forced to convalesce in a sanatorium. While there, she met Rebecca S. Clark, who was visiting an infirmed relative. A friendship developed between the two which, along with nursing opportunities, ultimately led Glenda to relocate to North Carolina. 

Glenda settled in Chapel Hill, North Carolina and from 1963 to 1965 worked at Duke Medical Center as a registered nurse in the role of Evening Head Nurse. In Chapel Hill, Glenda lived next door to Frances Neal Hargraves a fairly well known Chapel Hillian, Mrs. Hargraves had a son, William (Bill) M. Hargraves, Jr. During this time Glenda and Bill began an enduring relationship. However, Glenda had what her mother Lena dubbed a “gypsy spirit,” and, as such, she left her nursing position at Duke to apply for a Peace Corps commission. She joined the Peace Corps in 1965 and served for two years in the medical program, providing teaching and medical services in Desi and other cities of Ethiopia. The Peace Corps provided Glenda an opportunity to travel internationally and exposed her to cultures and people she most likely would have never encountered. This experience made a lifelong impression, probably providing the impetus for her to be a host family for exchange students. Glenda made an indelible mark on the people she met during her Peace Corps time and developed life-long friendships through the experience.

Throughout her Peace Corps service, Glenda did not lose sight of the relationship she had developed with Bill. They continued to correspond via letters, sustaining their relationship across time and distance.  Glenda returned from the Peace Corps in 1967 and took a position at the Bathgate Satellite of the Martin Luther King Neighborhood Health Center in Bronx, New York. That same year, on Friday, November 24, 1967, she married Bill Hargraves. Glenda would often say that she owed a debt of gratitude to Bill’s cousin, Joseph N, Hargraves, Jr., for helping plan and make the ceremony possible. Glenda and Bill returned to North Carolina in 1968, where Glenda worked for the Veteran’s Administration Hospital in Durham through 1971 as an Evening Head Nurse. During this time the couple would have two children, Malcolm Damian and Veronita Gervenee.

In 1971, with two young children and a husband in tow, Glenda made another career move. She became part of the second Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP) class at the University of North Carolina School of Nursing in Chapel Hill. In 1972, she took a position at the Orange County Comprehensive Health Service (OCCHS). There, she often treated generations of family members, from newborns to senior citizens. She faithfully served the local community, providing vital health care for parents, grandparents, children, and grandchildren. “Doctor” Hargraves, as many of her patients would call her, remained at OCCHS as it moved from its early location on Rosemary Street in Chapel Hill to its Roberson Street location in Carrboro, then finally to its location in a new building on Lloyd Street in Carrboro. Glenda was also there when OCCHS became Piedmont Health. Eventually she would retire in the spring of 1999 after a career that spanned 42 years. That retirement would last only three years, however, because Glenda longed to continue to serve and help people with their healthcare needs. This desire led Glenda to reinstate her FNP license in 2002 for an additional period of five years so that she could assist the rural and underserved communities in the Orange and Chatham County areas.

Family and friends were always of the utmost importance to Glenda. If anyone was in need, Glenda was there to provide. If anyone ever needed a place to stay or assistance, Glenda was there to help. She built an addition on her home so she could care for her mother and her brother, Wendell, in their later years. A beloved grandmother, Glenda always welcomed the opportunity to spend time with and take care of her grandson Omavi and her granddaughter Frances. A devoted sister, aunt, and cousin, Glenda would attend as many family gatherings, graduations, weddings, and special occasions as she could. Whether she could be there or not, she would send a card with a token of love enclosed. That loving nature and giving spirit endeared her to her friends and colleagues. She was like a sister, an aunt, and a second mother to so many. In fact, Malcolm and Veronita felt they had family that extended well beyond the Hargraves and Oldhams.    

Glenda’s 88 years had its highs and lows, just like anyone’s life does, and we can safely say that the good in her life far outnumbered the bad.. In 1973, she lost her husband in a tragic car accident, leaving her with two young children to rear alone. She fell off a ladder while cleaning the roof gutters of her home resulting in major injury. For eight years, she battled Lyme disease which severely impeded her mobility. Twice, she contracted COVID-19. And at 85 years old she was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML). But through it all, Glenda discretely endured and persevered, often silently, defying the odds and confounding the experts.  

Recently, when asked what led her to want to become a nurse, she said simply that she wanted to help people. Indeed, Glenda certainly helped more people than she could know. Asked how she wanted to be known, Glenda said she wanted people to know her as a quiet lady. And that she was. Glenda rarely, if ever, brought attention to herself, choosing discretion over valor, and gentle yet firm, intentional intensity over bellicose attitude and indignation. She was always a lady. 

It is impossible to capture in words all of what and who Glenda Oldham Hargraves was to everyone she touched. Her legacy of unconditional love, mercy, compassion, care, and service will continue to live on in her absence. Though Glenda would never say it about herself, she was truly a blessing. 

On June 20, 2022, Glenda Oldham Hargraves, transitioned from her earthly home in Carrboro, North Carolina to her heavenly one prepared just for her. Glenda is survived by her devoted son and daughter, Malcolm D. Hargraves (Rosalyn) and Veronita G. Hargraves, beloved grandchildren Omavi M. Hargraves and Frances E. Hargraves, sister-in-law Juanita Oldham (Charles), cousin Nancy Butler (Bill), cousin Janie Alston, and several other cousins, nieces, nephews, extended family, and dear friends. 

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